21 relationship questions to ask a girl
Photo by Min An: photography-of-a-man-and-woman-laughing

Starting a new relationship is exciting, but it can also be nerve-wracking. You might wonder if you're compatible with your partner's goals and values or if they're trustworthy. Fortunately, you can ask some key questions to help you build a strong foundation for your new relationship. This article will explore 21 must-ask questions for a successful new relationship, with expert advice to guide you through every step.

Questions to Establish Compatibility

  1. What are your hobbies and interests?
  2. How do you like to spend your free time?
  3. What are your career aspirations?
  4. What are your values and beliefs?
  5. What are your long-term goals?

When starting a new relationship, it's important to establish whether you and your partner are compatible. These questions can help you get to know each other better and find common ground.

According to relationship expert Dr. John Gottman, couples with similar interests and values are more likely to have a successful relationship. By asking these questions early on, you can determine if you and your partner are a good match.

Questions to Build Trust

  1. Have you been in a serious relationship before?
  2. What qualities do you value most in a partner?
  3. What are your deal-breakers in a relationship?
  4. Have you ever cheated on a partner?
  5. What is your communication style?

Trust is a key component of any successful relationship. These questions can help you establish trust and ensure that you and your partner are on the same page.

According to relationship therapist Dr. Stan Tatkin, communication is one of the most important factors in building trust. By asking about your partner's communication style and past relationships, you can better understand how they approach to trust and honesty.

Questions to Deepen Intimacy

  1. What are your love languages?
  2. What is your ideal way to spend a weekend together?
  3. What is your favorite memory with a partner?
  4. What is your biggest fear in a relationship?
  5. What are your expectations for physical intimacy?

Intimacy is a vital part of any romantic relationship. These questions can help you deepen your emotional connection and build a strong bond with your partner.

Accordingto relationship coach Kyle Benson, understanding your partner's love language is crucial to building intimacy. By asking about their preferences for spending time together and past experiences, you can create more opportunities for intimacy and strengthen your emotional connection.

Questions to Plan for the Future

  1. Do you want to get married someday?
  2. Do you want children? How many?
  3. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
  4. What are your financial goals?
  5. What is your stance on travel and adventure?
  6. What are your expectations for the future of our relationship?

When starting a new relationship, it's important to think about the future. These questions can help you plan for the long term and ensure that you and your partner are on the same page.

Relationshipexpert Dr. Terri Orbuch says discussing your long-term goals and plans can help you build a strong, committed relationship. By asking about your partner's vision for the future, you can determine whether your goals and aspirations are compatible.


Starting a new relationship can be exciting, but it's important to lay a strong foundation for the future. By asking these 21 must-ask questions, you can establish compatibility, build trust, deepen intimacy, and plan for the future with your partner.

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